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Selfie: Leigh & Veronica

Honestly speaking, I don’t know why I created this website. Being a typical man I need constant boost in everything I do. That’s probably why I came up with the idea of “Man Boosters”. I don’t know exactly what I’m going to write on this site/blog.

Few words about me (us)

Happily married for 10 years?

Not!

We are happy that our marriage has lasted 10 years. Now it is the time for self introspection. I want to to be more happy with Veronica… forever

I’m married to Veronica for 10 years. That’s probably amazing thing to say considering that I have had disastrous relationship earlier. Being 46 & 38 year old parent of 2 kids, my lust and her libido had lots of ups and downs. When my lust is high she would be in no mood for romance. She doesn’t deny sex for me, but I would feel like “using her” rather than enjoying it together.

Of-course, there are many instances when her libido was up & I would get stuck into my own cave doing pre-occupied thing. A woman can give sex to her man even if she isn’t mentally prepared. But man can do nothing… even offering kisses and hugs feels like a lot!

Conflict in Marriage

When you have two people living together and sharing everything, you are going to have conflict.  It is unavoidable.  However, conflict degenerating into a knock down drag out fight is completely avoidable.  It is all in how you react.  Not how she reacts – only you.  You cannot control her – you can only control yourself.

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The last time I had a fight with Veronica was when I was mad about her not doing something she always asks me to do.  And when I brought it up, she got defensive and irritated about it.  My “fairness meter” was buzzing like crazy – it’s a trigger point with me.

So there I was – mad about an apparent injustice and she was there being mad at ME.  Ugh!  So I’m thinking about tearing into her, yelling, stomping off, etc. etc.  And that calm still voice inside said “calm down, there is something else at work here.”  God was telling me to chill out and listen.  The question I asked myself was “what good will come of it?” – if I yelled, or did anything rash, that is.  The answer: NOTHING good.

“…everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”
James

So I waited and I listened.  And after we talked and talked, I discovered that she was feeling like she had nothing to herself at all – and it had been frustrating her for quite some time.  I was feeling the same way!  No space, no computer, no bathroom, no sink – nothing was our own.  And she wanted to be able to have a place or thing that she could leave in any state she cared to without having to worry about me.

Of course, we are married, so that is a hard thing to find – your own space.  But it is important.  After all, “one flesh” does not mean “one person”.  We are two different people, so we need some things or spaces we can call our own.

So – by waiting and asking “what good will come of it?” – I avoided a big fight and discovered a need that my loving wife has – as well as the same need in me.  So we are working on creating space for the individuals in the house – as well as the couple.  This how we made a positive outcome from conflict in marriage.

Love & lust are part of life

Get Female Libido Fired Up – Say the Right Thing

Female libido is really sensitive.  This weekend my wife and I were kissing in bed and everything was going well.  However, at one point things changed.  There was a connection that increased her desire from “I am doing this for you because I love you” to “I am doing this because I am so into you I can’t stand it anymore and I want you.”  Making love to satisfy her husband is good, but her really wanting it is far better.

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It was so amazing that the next day, she sent me an IM saying that she could not stop thinking about last night – how she felt a really deep connection and was thinking about me all day.  When I got home, she found ways to get me away from the kids if only for a moment at a time to kiss passionately.  It was amazing.  It was exactly the kind of female libido enhancement that could make millions if it could be put in a bottle.

So what happened?  What made the change?  I thought about it and I know where the change was.  The major turning point in her libido that night was when I said exactly what was in my heart and on my mind at the moment.  It was the timing, honesty and sincerity of what I said that did it.  I felt it and I said it without hesitation: “You’re perfect for me.”  That is exactly what I was thinking and feeling – I was so happy that God matched me with such a wonderful woman and when I felt it I said it.

The timing was perfect because the emotion was honest and present.  When I said those words, she sighed a loving sigh and her desire for me increased 10 fold.  It was amazing.  And the effects are still lasting three days later.  She has been so affectionate and loving, it is just wonderful!

So – if you want to increase your wife’s libido, open your heart a bit and when you feel happy to see her or have a positive realization about how much you love her – say it without hesitation.  The timing will always be right because you will be acting from the heart.  If she is not used to you saying such things, just explain that you are trying to be more open with your feelings to her.  She’ll love that!

Say the right thing – the thought or feeling that is in your heart – and you will discover how to increase female libido.

Stages of Marriage

The stages of marriage happen to every couple.  They usually happen in the same order.  Some couples have no idea what is in store and they fool themselves into thinking that the tingles and the butterflies will last forever; so when challenges come along, they are unprepared to cope.

If you know what’s coming then you can be mentally ready to stick to it.  Knowing that the stages of marriage you are going through are normal helps stave off divorce.

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Too often people expect their marriage to be different from the rest: “we’d never do that” or “not us – we are SO in love!”  People want the movie marriage with the happy ending.  What they don’t see is what happens after the movie ends – so here it is in a nutshell.  The chart below shows relative happiness as it relates to each stage as time passes.

Stages of Marriage and Happiness

  1. Newlyweds – passion is at a high, everything is great and ideal expectations that this will last forever are set
  2. Honeymoon – everything is still great – your daily routine is taking shape
  3. Adjustment – you are going to have to change – someone else’s needs are ever present – you have to become less self centered
  4. Reality – this is for the rest of your life and your high expectations are not met
  5. Resentment – sets in when unrealistic expectations are not met

At this stage is where you have to make very important choices.  Some people live out their lives and marriages in this stage of resentment and get bitter over time.  Others give up and get divorced.  These people never achieve or experience lasting true love.  But in a lasting happy marriage, the right choices are made.

Effort / Commitment – This is where a choice is made.  Spend the rest of your live resentful, give up and go from marriage to marriage or make the effort and go for the prize.

Everlasting Love (Consummate Love) – this stage of marriage is life long and the most rewarding.  At this stage, each spouse is more concerned with taking care of other’s needs more than their own needs; and by doing so, each person’s needs are met in a loving way. The passion and romance are back and here to stay.  This is the prize.

Blips – no marriage is perfect.  There are still disagreements and arguments.  But at this stage, they usually lack the anger, attacks and selfishness; arguments can be productive and learning experiences.
Marriage gets better and better for those who stick to it and make the effort to grow together.

God created marriage so we can grow and become better human beings.  Marriage can bring us closer to each other in a passionate loving life long relationship, it also brings us closer to God.  This is the prize and the final stage of marriage.